THE BOOK OF THE VIP
ZIGGIE
The importance of dreamsWhat is wrong with women
Chapter 10
Your ideas will change the world (said the couch), so don’t let all this short-term denial make you neurotic.
2jIn fact, your ideas will result in a whole new field of learning,
3Called kpsychology,
4Which will change everything about the way people look at themselves.
5For a long time, people will actually believe that you were right about almost everything,
6No matter how silly that seems,
7And your funny names for things will become a permanent part of the language,
8Including Ego, Superego, and Id,
9lInferiority Complex, which is when an ego starts acting like it’s better than everyone else,
10mPersecution Complex, which is when an ego thinks everybody’s out to get it,
11nProjection, which is when one ego thinks other egos might be having the same kinds of problems it is,
12oRepression, which is when an ego starts acting like there isn’t any superego or id in there with it, which almost always causes all kinds of tremendous pproblems,
13qPhallic Symbols, which certain really sick egos are obsessed with, which you can usually spot right away though, because a phallic symbol is anything longer than it is wide that you can hold in your hand, drive, or build out of elements listed on the periodic chart,
14aAnd, of course, Penis Envy, which is what’s the matter with all women, thus explaining why nobody can ever figure out what they really want.
15And brilliant scholars will use your ideas to bpsychoanalyze history,
16cAnd discover that it was all about sex,
17Just like you thought,
18And then they’ll psychoanalyze art and literature,
19dAnd discover that they were all about sex too,
20Including eHamlet,
21fNo matter how silly that seems.
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