THE BOOK OF DAMN
YANKEES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY
Franklin Roosevelt gets electedFranklin Roosevelt gets reelected
Chapter 98
lAnd so Roosevelt saved the capitalist system in America,
2mBy forming a giant coalition of all the Yanks who had been oppressed in the past,
3nIncluding all the European immigrants,
4oAnd all the black people who were allowed to vote,
5pAnd all the poor white trash who had always had to take dirty, dangerous jobs for almost no pay,
6And a bunch of others too,
7So that the greatest goods could be taken from the richest numbers,
8qOr something like that,
9And everything would be fair from now on,
10rIncluding government jobs for some of the people who didn’t have any,
11sAnd relief for the ones who still didn’t have jobs after that,
12tAnd higher taxes for the rich capitalists who had destroyed the economy in the first place,
13uAnd labor unions for all the people who had to work for rich capitalists,
14aAnd a brand-new supreme court to interpret the Constitution for the greatest number of goods,
15bExcept that that one didn’t work out too well and Roosevelt had to keep the old supreme court the way it was,
16But it turned out all right anyway,
17cBecause he had fireside chats on the radio,
18dAnd talked directly to the Yanks about how things ought to be,
19eAnd got elected to a second term,
20fEven though the Great Depression was almost as bad as when he started,
21gBecause for now the Yanks were content with the fact that at least nobody rich was getting away with anything,
22For once.
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Chapter 98 / 154