THE BOOK OF DAMN
YANKEES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY
The colonists get crankyThe colonists discover principles
Chapter 8
Without their morning tea, the colonists got pretty lcranky,
2And decided the thing to do was tell the Brits they weren’t ever going to pay the tea tax,
3Because,
4Well,
5Because that’s the way it was.
6aExcept they all knew enough about the Brit sense of fair play to recognize that you could only take an extreme position without giving any reasons if you were a Brit,
7Which they were kind of saying they weren’t,
8bSince Brits pay their taxes.
9This presented the colonists with a dilemma,
10Which was resolved by their discovery that they were actually objecting to the tea tax on principle,
11cMeaning that they were opposed to the concept of taxation without representation,
12Whatever that was,
13And could, quite dhonorably, refuse to be subjected to Brit tyranny,
14Because,
15Well,
16eWhat America was all about was freedom from tyranny.
17fWhich explains how gPatrick Henry got the idea about h“Give me liberty or give me death.”
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Chapter 8 / 154