THE BOOK OF DAMN
YANKEES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY
The Indians don’t get to first baseThe south plunges into a new era
Chapter 54
And so the Indian wars turned out to be a particularly glorious moment in Yank history,
2Even though there have been lots and lots of glorious moments for the Yanks,
3As any Yank will tell you.
4Thanks to the heroism of the nU.S. Cavalry,
5oWhich always arrived in the nick of time,
6pThe Indians never got to first base,
7And eventually had to give up,
8qAnd stop robbing stagecoaches,
9rAnd quit scalping white men,
10sAnd swear off kidnaping defenseless pioneer babies to raise them as bloodthirsty savages,
11tAnd all the rest of it too,
12uUntil the wild west had been completely tamed,
13And all the brave frontier amarshals could put away their six-guns,
14And breathe free,
15Like all the other Yanks back home,
16Except maybe for the negro Yanks,
17bWho were about to lose all the privileges they’d enjoyed during Reconstruction.
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Chapter 54 / 154