THE BOOK OF DAMN
YANKEES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY
The Indians don’t get to first base
Chapter 53
And so the Yanks punished the Indians,
2A lot.
3cIt was obvious that any treaties the U.S. had signed with unchristian savages couldn’t be honored after the terrible thing that had happened at the dLittle Big Horn,
4And so they forgot about all the treaties,
5And fought some eIndian wars,
6Which were very exciting and suspenseful,
7fBecause the two sides were so evenly matched.
8On one side were the Yanks, a nation of forty million God-fearing Christians who had just fought and won the first gmodern war in history,
9Against themselves,
10hAnd who had right on their side because of Manifest Destiny,
11iAnd general principles,
12Not to mention God,
13jAnd how He feels about democracy and freedom and so forth.
14On the other side were the Indians, a bunch of kheathen, savage stone age tribes who didn’t even know about horses and guns till the Spaniards showed up,
15lAnd who couldn’t even make alliances between their own tribes,
16Not to mention being in the wrong,
17mBecause why on earth did they need all that land anyway?
✦ · · ✦ · · ✦
Chapter 53 / 154