THE BOOK OF DAMN
YANKEES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY
Lee feels like a grandfather
Chapter 45
By this time, General aRobert E. Lee was pretty unhappy.
2bPickett was dead,
3cAnd so was Stonewall Jackson,
4Which meant that the Yanks now had more famous generals than the south did,
5dWhat with Grant and his big thinking bouts,
6eSherman and his hellfire,
7And a bunch of other Yanks just like Grant and Sherman.
8Besides, Lee’s hair had turned completely fgray,
9And since the average age of his soldiers was now about fourteen,
10He was starting to feel more like a grandfather than a general,
11And so he decided that it might be better to surrender so the troops could get to bed in time to be fresh for school,
12Which he did,
13gIn a place called Appomattox,
14hUnless that isn’t where it was.
15Anyway, Lee handed his sword to Grant,
16And rode off into the sunset,
17And was never heard from again.
18As the victorious general, though,
19Grant had to keep working,
20iAnd thinking,
21Sometimes as many as two or three cases a week,
22Because he was going to be heard from again,
23And had to be ready when the time came.
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Chapter 45 / 154