THE BOOK OF DAMN
YANKEES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY
Gettysburg is pretty upsettingLincoln buys Grant a drink
Chapter 42
What oLincoln figured out at Gettysburg was that if you killed lots and lots of the enemy’s troops,
2And kept on doing it,
3For a good long time,
4Eventually, they’d have to surrender,
5aBecause they’d run out of men.
6When Lincoln explained this plan to his bgenerals,
7They couldn’t understand it,
8And didn’t like it,
9And told him that the only general who’d buy a crazy plan like that was some worthless old drunk who didn’t know any better,
10And why didn’t he just go back to the White House and nib out?
11And so Lincoln found a worthless old drunk named cU.S. Grant,
12And bought him a big bottle of whiskey,
13And told him about the plan,
14Which Grant liked so much that the president put him in charge of the union army,
15Right then and there.
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Chapter 42 / 154