THE BOOK OF DAMN
YANKEES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY
The northerners are not excited
Chapter 38
When they heard this, the Confederates were pretty delighted,
2And got out all their dcavalry sabers,
3And had their slaves pack a nice lunch,
4And rode off to Fort Sumter,
5Which is located somewhere in the United States,
6eMaybe down south,
7fAnd fired the shot heard round the world,
8gUnless that was some other shot.
9Anyway,
10When Lincoln heard about the shot at Fort Sumter,
11He declared hwar on the Confederacy,
12And sent the union army out to stop the Confederates at a Washington suburb called Bull Run.
13Unfortunately, the union soldiers at Bull Run didn’t have any slaves to pack them a nice lunch,
14So they got hungry and tired,
15In about fifteen minutes,
16And the Confederates won big,
17iNo more than a few miles from the White House,
18Which got the northerners really excited about defeating the Confederates,
19Except that it didn’t,
20For some reason.
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Chapter 38 / 154