THE BOOK OF DAMN
YANKEES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY
The northerners are not excited
Chapter 37
bAbraham Lincoln looked the situation over,
2And saw that a bunch of states had walked out,
3Over a difference of opinion that would probably never be resolved to anyone’s satisfaction,
4cExcept that a lot of Yanks up north really didn’t care at all about the slavery problem,
5And weren’t all that sorry to see the last of the southern states either,
6Because who needed them anyway,
7With their trashy accents,
8And their hick ways,
9And all those black people.
10All of this made it pretty obvious to Lincoln what he had to do,
11For some reason,
12And so he told the Confederacy that they couldn’t leave the union,
13Ever,
14And if they tried to,
15He would stop them,
16Because union was more important than anything,
17Period.
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Chapter 37 / 154