THE BOOK OF DAMN
YANKEES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY
The slavery thing crops up againLincoln offends the southerners
Chapter 34
The president who had to handle this mess was uJames Buchanan,
2Who had been born in a vlog cabin,
3And was therefore honest and great,
4aAlthough maybe more honest than great,
5bAnd just possibly more stupid than honest.
6Buchanan felt very strongly that everybody was right,
7cWhich is an important tradition of Yank politics,
8And resulted in everybody getting madder and madder,
9Which is also an important tradition of Yank politics,
10Until everybody got so mad they couldn’t see straight,
11dWhich is still another important Yank tradition called freedom of expression,
12And caused Buchanan to figure out that the potato had finally gotten way too hot,
13eSo he left it cooking on his desk at the White House and went home.
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Chapter 34 / 154