THE BOOK OF DAMN
YANKEES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY
The fascinations of dirt
Chapter 29
As it happened, the westward migration of so many dirty people resulted in a completely new kind of economic system,
2In which every single profession was based on dirt,
3Including ranching, bwhich involved owning enough dirt so that cowboys on horseback could kick up a lot of dust chasing livestock from one water hole to another,
4And sheep farming, cwhich involved squatting on dirt that belonged to some cattle rancher and waiting for all hell to break loose,
5And lots and lots of mining,
6Not to mention railroading, dwhich involved buying enough eChinks to lay track across thousands of miles of empty dirt, in order to connect one dirty little western town with another, all the way to the coast,
7And commerce, which involved the selling of all manner of goods and tools for handling dirt,
8Including brooms for sweeping dirt,
9fAnd hats with big brims for keeping dirt out of your eyes and hair,
10And chaps for keeping dirt off your pants,
11And neckerchiefs for keeping dirt out of your mouth,
12gNot to mention guns and dirt sifters and shovels,
13hAs well as plenty of rotgut whiskey to clear the dirt out of your throat,
14iAnd every once in a long while, a bathtub for washing the dirt off,
15So you’d be allowed to go upstairs with the jsaloon girls.
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Chapter 29 / 154