THE BOOK OF DAMN
YANKEES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY
The Yanks compromise Missouri
Chapter 21
As a aJeffersonian democrat, President Madison understood that everybody had a point.
2For example, like the bNew England Puritans, he didn’t exactly approve of slavery,
3Although being a cVirginian himself, he understood the position of the southerners too,
4dBecause if you lived in the south, you needed somebody to do all the work,
5And the poor whites were too eproud to do it,
6fMeaning too quarrelsome, lazy, and vindictive to take orders,
7Unless you could make them gcooperate with whips and leg irons,
8Which were illegal to use,
9hOn white people.
10And so iMonroe figured out that the best thing to do was compromise,
11jWhich is the Yank way of doing something quick and easy right now, so that someone else will have to make the real decision later on,
12Hopefully much later on,
13When you’re already out of office.
14And so everyone agreed on the kMissouri Compromise,
15Which said that new southern states could have lslaves,
16And new northern states mcouldn’t,
17Which seemed reasonable to everybody,
18nThat is, everybody who was legally entitled to vote.
✦ · · ✦ · · ✦
Chapter 21 / 154