THE BOOK OF DAMN
YANKEES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY
The Yanks get confusedLots of peoples in the middle east
Chapter 154
And so, all of a sudden, it seemed like maybe the Yanks weren’t quite as youthful any more,
2Or as confident,
3Or as hopeful,
4Or as all-powerful as they had thought,
5Which is usually the first sign that a Chosen Nation isn’t quite as Chosen as it used to be,
6And is maybe getting a little tired,
7And more than a little confused,
8And in need of some new ideas about how to live in a world that’s a lot more complicated than it looks,
9Which is how it came to pass that the Brits extended a helping hand,
10eAnd within months of Kennedy’s funeral,
11Sent a great gift to their friends the Yanks,
12A gift designed to help educate the Yanks about the world,
13At long last,
14So that they would know how to face a future full of pain and suffering and failure,
15fAnd how to get ready for the inevitable decline that befalls every Chosen Nation sooner or later,
16gWhich the Brits knew everything there was to know about,
17hAnd wanted to share with their cousins across the sea,
18So that a day would eventually come when the Yanks were as bad at everything as the Brits had gotten to be,
19And maybe they would even forget how to build nuclear weapons properly,
20So that they wouldn’t work,
21iJust like everything the Brits made,
22Which would make the world safer,
23Unless it wouldn’t,
24jBut what can you do,
25Because when the world is coming to an end,
26kIt’s coming to an end,
27lAnd it doesn’t much matter if it ends the American Way or the Russkie Way or the Brit way,
28mBecause it’s all the way of Mankind,
29nAnd no one has ever thought of any other way,
30oNo matter how much they wanted to believe that they were different,
31pBecause a pointed stick is a cannon is a nuclear warhead,
32qAnd a killer ape is a Roman is a Brit is a Kraut is a Yank,
33rAnd being Chosen is a delusion is a lie is a joke,
34And so what can you do?
35sWhich is why the Yanks accepted the gift of the Brits,
36A little dubiously,
37But willing to listen,
38Because it was getting a lot harder to go on being proud and confident and hopeful about everything,
39aSince nobody else was,
40And maybe it was time for the Yanks to pay attention to somebody else’s ideas,
41For a change,
42And learn how to make it better the Brit way.
43Yeah yeah yeah.
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Chapter 154 / 154