THE BOOK OF DAMN
YANKEES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY
Jefferson cares about little people
Chapter 15
John Adams tried to set some precedents of his own,
2Such as suppressing mfreedom of speech,
3nWhich is inconvenient to presidents,
4oBut presidents aren’t allowed to suppress freedom of speech in the U.S.,
5pSince the Yanks don’t trust anybody that much,
6qExcept themselves,
7And the politicians who agree with them,
8Which always excludes presidents,
9Because nobody always agrees with someone who has to make decisions on a more than occasional basis.
10And so John Adams was voted out of office after his first term and was replaced by rThomas Jefferson,
11Who cared a lot more about the rights of the slittle people,
12Since, as a Virginia gentleman, he owned a lot of little people and even slept with them when he felt like it.
13This led to the concept of tJeffersonian democracy,
14uMeaning rule by eloquent platitudes,
15Which became an important American tradition.
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Chapter 15 / 154