THE BOOK OF DAMN
YANKEES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY
The Yanks invent rock ’n ’rollKennedy doesn’t take any guff
Chapter 145
And speaking of the nworld,
2Every Yank could go see the world,
3On vacations,
4When they could dress up in Bermuda shorts and sunglasses,
5With a whole bunch of cameras,
6And go to Europe,
7oJust to see why everything was so much better back home in America,
8pNot to mention getting some pictures of the countries the Yanks had saved,
9qOr had clobbered and then rebuilt,
10Whichever it was.
11And so they could get on buses with a whole bunch of other Yanks,
12rAnd go on tours of cities and museums and all that stuff,
13And talk it all over with each other and the natives,
14In a loud Yank accent,
15In English,
16Just so everyone would know that they were Yanks,
17And wouldn’t confuse them with somebody else,
18Such as somebody who hadn’t saved their bacon,
19Twice,
20Which no Yank would actually say out loud, of course,
21Unless the service was lousy,
22Or the hotel room wasn’t spotlessly clean,
23Or the bathrooms didn’t have modern plumbing,
24Or the restaurants didn’t have hamburgers and hot dogs on the menu,
25Or the natives got irritable about being ordered around by guests in their country,
26aWho absolutely positively refused to even try to speak the native language,
27bJust like the Brits,
28Only not nearly so well dressed.
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Chapter 145 / 154