THE BOOK OF DAMN
YANKEES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY
The Yanks are in charge
Chapter 139
In fact, the Yanks were very very proud of themselves,
2Not just for outlasting the Great Depression and turning it into so much prosperity,
3But also for all the other things they’d done in the twentieth century,
4Including save the world for democracy,
5fTwice,
6When they could have just sat at home both times,
7But didn’t,
8gBecause they loved the peoples of the world so much that they couldn’t just sit around while the Krauts ruined everything,
9hEven if the Krauts would never have had a prayer of beating the Yanks at home,
10Which they wouldn’t,
11Because the Yanks were never intimidated for a second by the prospect of “Fortress Europe,”
12iWhatever that was.
13And that’s not all the Yanks were proud of,
14jBecause after the war, they had been kind and generous,
15In spite of the fact that they could have set things up any old way they wanted to,
16With nobody having any say,
17kIncluding the lousy Brits and Frogs,
18Only they didn’t do things that way,
19Because they were Yanks,
20And good,
21And democratic,
22And hardworking,
23And virtuous,
24lWith very high principles,
25mEspecially now that the whole slavery thing was taken care of,
26nWith everybody in America equal,
27And separate,
28Which was the way God wanted it,
29Obviously,
30Because if God didn’t approve of the Yanks, why did He give them the oA-Bomb,
31Not to mention the pH-Bomb,
32Which nobody wanted to mention anyway,
33Because it was so scary,
34Even to the Yanks.
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Chapter 139 / 154