THE BOOK OF DAMN
YANKEES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF MANIFEST DESTINY
Roosevelt reelected for life
Chapter 116
Although delays like these were slowing down the war,
2It was still starting to become obvious that the Allies were going to win the war eventually,
3And so the Allies all got together at Yalta to decide how Europe would be divided up after the war,
4aWhich is to say the countries conquered by the Brits and the Yanks would be free,
5bAnd the countries conquered by the Russkies would be enslaved in a vast totalitarian state,
6cWhich all seemed very fair to those in attendance,
7Since nobody had invited any Czechs or Poles or Albanians or Romanians to the meeting,
8And since dRoosevelt had just been elected to his fourth term as president of the Yanks,
9eWhich was a record,
10And who cares about a bunch of Poles and Czechs when you’ve got a record like that,
11Because there aren’t too many presidents who are so honest and great that they can be reelected even though they’re almost dead in their wheelchair,
12And practically senile to boot,
13Or why would he ever have agreed to give half the world to a murderous tyrant like fStalin,
14gAnd then died almost immediately,
15Without telling his hvice president anything about what to do next,
16Unless that’s not really how it was at all,
17Which it couldn’t be,
18Because Roosevelt was far too honest and great to do anything wrong,
19As every Yank knows,
20iSomehow.
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Chapter 116 / 154