THE GOOD WORD ACCORDING TO · THE ULTRA-HARRIER
VINNIE
The Cursitudes
Chapter 59
If your next-door neighbor told you that all the biggest losers on the face of the earth were really blessed,
2Would you bow down to him,
3Or call for the men in white coats?
4For I, Harry, say to you,
5cCursed are the poor in spirit: for the only kingdom anyone ever promised them is in heaven, dwherever that is, and everywhere else they’re dogmeat,
6And you know it.
7eCursed are they that mourn: for fdeath is completely final, and mourning never brings back the dead,
8Who are ghistory,
9As anyone with an ounce of intelligence knows.
10hCursed are the meek: for they shall inherit nothing,
11Or were you planning to remember them in your will?
12iCursed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall die of hunger and thirst,
13Because absolutely everybody hates their guts,
14And if I’m lying about that, what is jhe doing up there on that cross?
15kCursed are the merciful: for they will be bitten by the mouths they feed,
16As which of you has not left his toothmarks on someone who was only trying to help?
17lCursed are the pure in heart: for they are born to be everybody’s victim,
18And why not yours too?
19Cursed are the mpeacemakers: for they are doomed to fail big time,
20As they always have,
21nBecause there’s nothing harder to do on this earth than stop a good Christian from starting a war with the latest godless barbarian neighbor to move in next door.
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Chapter 59 / 75