ULTRA-HARRIER TONY’S CHAIN LETTER · TO THE
SWARTHMORONS
Find the ultra-secret symbol of Harry
Chapter 5
Not long ago, a Berkeleyite broke the chain,
2And immediately afterwards had his financial aid revoked due to allegations of fraudulent income reporting by his parents,
3Which absolutely everybody does,
4And then he was rejected by every graduate school he applied to,
5In spite of exceptional grades and the perfect GRE score achieved by the person who took the test for him.
6Last month, a Harvardian broke the chain and was expelled for plagiarism, even though all his classmates had also copied the same source.
7bJust last week, a Skidmoron broke the chain and had to sleep with her thesis adviser just to get a passing grade, even though she had earned highest honors.
8And as I write this, I have just received word that a Brandeiser broke the chain and was instantly denounced in the school newspaper as a closet reactionary,
9Which will certainly destroy her chance to enjoy a successful cacademic career,
10Not to mention poison her standing in the Militant Lesbian Alliance,
11Of which she had been the president for three consecutive semesters.
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