ULTRA-HARRIER TONY’S CHAIN LETTER · TO THE
SWARTHMORONS
Money is its own rewardThe Others are always right
Chapter 33
And if you recoil utterly from paths that lead to fortune,
2Then perhaps it is wiser to choose a path of art-type art instead,
3Such as painting or sculpture or visual things like that,
4Because these are all incredibly easy to do,
5Without thinking about it at all,
6And offer an important additional advantage,
7Namely, that everyone will know you’re doing it for acceptable motives,
8Like the approval of all the pseudo-intellectuals who really count,
9And not for anything as disgusting as fmoney.
10If this is a path that appeals to you,
11Remember that there are only two rules regarding the visual arts:
12gFirst, never produce any work of art that actually looks like something in the real world;
13hAnd second, never explain your intentions, unless you’re much better than average at reeling off nonsensical ioxymorons and other meaningless esoterica, without thinking about it at all.
14If you observe these two rules, you can do absolutely anything you feel like doing,
15jEven if it’s just driving a muddy Jeep over a canvas,
16And IT WILL BE kART,
17Which means that it’s worth something to somebody,
18lAnd has every bit as good a chance of being praised as the stuff that anybody else is doing.
19Who knows?
20Maybe it will be reviewed by somebody important,
21Especially if you happen to be sleeping with somebody important,
22Which can be a pretty big help on this path.
23Maybe you’ll be hailed as the latest genius,
24And get invited to all the right places,
25mAnd possibly get a big grant to go on with your great work.
26aMaybe somebody will actually buy it,
27bUnless that would soil your pristine integrity about art,
28Which you are absolutely entitled to have,
29cBecause there are no contradictions.
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Chapter 33 / 38