ULTRA-HARRIER TONY’S CHAIN LETTER · TO THE
SWARTHMORONS
Epiphanies are everything
Chapter 18
I can also give you some advice about such things as plot and characters and so forth,
2But these are of secondary importance indeed,
3Because for the truly artistic writer there is only one plot,
4Which is the struggle of the protagonist against an impossible situation,
5aWhere there really isn’t any way to win,
6bFor approximately sixty-one thousand words if you are writing a novel,
7cApproximately four thousand words if you are writing a short dstory,
8eAnd approximately twenty-two thousand words if you are writing a play.
9Besides being quite easy, this plot is also a foolproof way to prove that you really are an artist,
10And not some commercial slob,
11Because if the protagonist prevails in the end,
12Or does anything more than physically survive,
13With a certain wry humor about his experience,
14The story isn’t fart,
15But popular trash.
16This is why you must also remember that there are no gheroes,
17Only hvictims and ifools and jcynics and kmonsters,
18And the purpose of describing their ordeals is to comfort your readers with the fact that everybody is in the same lboat,
19mAnd so what can you do?
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Chapter 18 / 38