ULTRA-HARRIER TONY’S CHAIN LETTER · TO THE
SWARTHMORONS
Create the appearance of irony
Chapter 15
The truly artistic writer will also employ juxtapositions as a substitute for ideas, content, and theme,
2Which is easy to do,
3Because educated readers have grown used to this substitution,
4And no longer notice it.
5fUse technical jargon to describe natural beauty,
6And you can create the appearance of intelligent social commentary,
7Because every educated reader has learned how to recognize the theme called “the sterility of modern life,”
8Which is about as artistic as you can get,
9And doesn’t offend anyone,
10Because the sterility of modern life is no one’s fault especially;
11It’s just the way things are,
12And the way things go,
13gWhen you happen to live in this particular sector of this particular random universe.
14hFor you absolutely must remember that no one looks to literature for answers anymore.
15Educated people everywhere have learned that a delicate and clever rephrasing of the questions is enough,
16iSince we already know the answers anyway,
17And we don’t like the answers,
18But we’re willing to like the questions,
19Provided they’re not phrased too obviously.
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Chapter 15 / 38