THE BOOK OF
RUSSKIES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE MOTHERLAND
The Russkies invent vodka
Chapter 7
Meanwhile, the czars thought Russia should be a dChosen Nation,
2eSince they had all those peasants,
3fAnd all that dirt,
4gAnd all that snow,
5hNot to mention potatoes,
6Which may help explain why the czars got such big ideas,
7Since it was the Russkies who figured out how to make vodka from potatoes.
8Anyway,
9There was a czar called iIvan,
10Who was terrible,
11For some reason,
12And decided that the first thing you had to do if you wanted to be a Chosen Nation was be a nation in the first place.
13After Ivan had killed everyone who didn’t want to be a nation,
14He was all tired out and went insane,
15Unless he went insane earlier than that,
16Or even much earlier than that.
✦ · · ✦ · · ✦
Chapter 7 / 26