THE BOOK OF
RUSSKIES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE MOTHERLAND
The Russkies figure out the serf thing
Chapter 4
In spite of being a little late, the Russkies managed to do some things right anyway.
2For example, they figured out the fserf thing really well,
3And had more serfs than you could shake a pointed stick at,
4Not to mention hundreds and hundreds of nobles,
5Including gprinces,
6Who had incredibly long and clumsy-sounding names,
7As required by the Russkie style,
8Which involves doing everything in Russian,
9Because it’s so much slower and clumsier that way.
10In fact, the Russian language is the second most important thing in Russkie culture,
11And is quite interesting,
12If you like things that are boring and ugly,
13Which the Russkies always have.
14hThe Russian alphabet was a gift from the Greeks,
15Who had an extra one that somebody had squashed with a tractor,
16Which made it perfect to give to the Russkies,
17Who were happy to get it,
18And made a brand-new language out of it,
19Including a bunch of peculiar grammar,
20And as many as a thousand vocabulary words,
21Of which no more than two hundred mean “potato,”
22Which isn’t bad, considering that potatoes are the single most important thing in Russkie culture.
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Chapter 4 / 26