THE BOOK OF
RUSSKIES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE MOTHERLAND
Stalin builds an iron curtainStalin patronizes the arts
Chapter 21
Then jStalin did a whole bunch of great things for the Russkie people.
2kHe built a huge number of gigantic nuclear bombs, and planes to drop them on enemies all over the world.
3lHe invented a new Marxist way of farming that made the comrades even more miserable than the peasants had been.
4mHe built an incredible number of huge new industrial cities that allowed very large numbers of comrades to be miserable in much less space than had ever been possible before,
5nIncluding huge new apartment complexes, where three or four families could be miserable together in the same room,
6aAnd if any of them still weren’t miserable enough, they could go to Siberia,
7bAlong with practically everybody else.
8Stalin also established a brilliant new government bureaucracy that enabled the Russkies to rule themselves in the most perfectly Russian way ever devised.
9cFor example, he set up an incredibly huge number of gigantic committees to run everything,
10So that everything would be done even more slowly and clumsily and stupidly than even the Russkies had ever believed possible,
11So that the whole economy produced almost nothing but nuclear bombs,
12And prisons,
13dAnd tremendous concrete things that didn’t really quite do anything.
✦ · · ✦ · · ✦
Chapter 21 / 26