THE BOOK OF
RUSSKIES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE MOTHERLAND
The Cossacks ride like the windThe Russkies figure out the serf thing
Chapter 2
Nobody much knows how the Russkies got started,
2Except that there were some barbarians called cCossacks,
3Who used to come riding like the wind out of the east into Poland,
4Where they reminded the dPoles that there’s more to being a great fighter than just being stupid and vicious.
5For example, it’s a good idea to shave your head except for a topknot,
6eAlthough being stupid and vicious is also a help, of course,
7As the Russkies have always known,
8Better than practically anybody else.
9Anyway,
10The Cossacks and the aMongols and other Russkie barbarians charged around quite a lot,
11For quite a while,
12Waiting for the invention of feudalism,
13bWhich happened when the Christians got things under control in Europe,
14cAnd convinced the Russkies that rule by divine right was the way to go,
15As long as they could do it the Russkie way,
16Which involves doing everything more slowly and clumsily and in larger numbers than everyone else.
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Chapter 2 / 26