THE BOOK OF
RUSSKIES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE MOTHERLAND
Lenin frees the peasantsStalin builds an iron curtain
Chapter 19
After Lenin, there was iStalin,
2Who probably wasn’t quite as great as Lenin,
3Since even the Russkies tend to think he overdid it a little,
4What with killing about fifty million people,
5For no particular reason,
6Which would have been okay,
7Except that fifty million people is a lot of people,
8Even if you’re a Russian.
9But to be fair, Stalin also had to deal with jWorld War II,
10Which he tried to do by making a deal with kHitler,
11lWith the usual results.
12mSo when Hitler forgot about their deal and invaded Russia anyway,
13Stalin felt pretty embarrassed,
14nAnd retaliated by sending millions of unarmed comrades into the snow to stop the German army,
15Which they did,
16In a place called oStalingrad,
17pWhich used to be called St. Petersburg,
18qUntil Lenin changed its name to Leningrad,
19rAnd then Stalin renamed it after his own favorite patriot.
20Anyway,
21The Russian peasants,
22That is, the Russian comrades,
23Stopped the Germans at Stalingrad at a cost of no more than a few million casualties,
24aWhich convinced Stalin that Russia was now definitely a Chosen Nation,
25And could start throwing its weight around like everyone else.
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Chapter 19 / 26