THE BOOK OF
RUSSKIES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE MOTHERLAND
Lenin frees the peasants
Chapter 18
Even though he was not related to the aGreat family, Lenin turned out to be a great leader for the Russkies.
2For example, he freed the peasants once and for all by renaming them “comrades,”
3Which made everything all better,
4bFor some reason.
5He solved the food problem by sending ten percent of the population to forced labor camps in cSiberia,
6Where they didn’t get any food at all,
7Which left a lot more for everybody else.
8Then he started industrializing Russia,
9dWhich he did by building lots of stinking industrial cities full of mistreated workers,
10eWho loved him because not a single person in the whole country had to give up being miserable for even a moment,
11In spite of all the terrific progress they were making,
12Which all the Russkies knew about,
13Because Marxists always make a point of telling their comrades the truth about everything important,
14Over and over and over again,
15fTill they believe it.
16gAnd Lenin was so great at telling the truth that when he died, the Russkies missed him so much they had him stuffed and put on display in the hKremlin,
17Forever,
18So they wouldn’t ever forget what a great comrade he had been.
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Chapter 18 / 26