THE BOOK OF
RUSSKIES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE MOTHERLAND
The Great family stays in chargeTchaikovsky invents music
Chapter 12
Not surprisingly, Tolstoy led to other Russkie writers,
2Namely kDostoyevski,
3And lChekhov,
4Who discovered that it was possible to turn unspeakable misery into great literature.
5Dostoyevski wrote thousands of huge novels about misery,
6Including m‘Crime and Punishment,’
7And ‘The Possessed,’
8And ‘The Brothers Karamazov,’
9And nothers,
10Based on the idea that since life is completely miserable,
11The best thing to do is spend all your time thinking about it,
12And being depressed about it,
13For thousands of pages.
14oChekhov, on the other hand,
15Had a completely different idea,
16Which was that since life is completely miserable,
17The best thing to do is write depressing ashort stories and bplays about it,
18Which leaves more time for just sitting there,
19Not to mention the fact that you don’t spend as much money on ink and paper,
20cWhich means there’s more to spend on vodka.
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Chapter 12 / 26