THE BOOK OF
PSAYINGS
Television will rot your brain
Psaying 5O
O is for the Outdoors,
2Which you should see more of,
3Because too much television will rot your brain and your eyes,
4jAnd turn you into a vegetable with coke bottle eyeglasses.
5Just think about how ashamed you will be, later in life, when you cannot identify a single tree,
6kIncluding oak trees,
7And black walnut trees,
8And birch trees,
9And sycamore trees,
10And chestnut trees,
11And poplar trees,
12And maple trees,
13And willow trees,
14And cedar trees,
15And fir trees,
16And spruce trees,
17And pine trees,
18And holly trees,
19And that’s only the barest minimum you should know.
20And think of all the outdoor activities you’ll never get to enjoy, unless you make a special effort,
21lSuch as swimming in the lake,
22And hiking in the woods,
23And canoeing down a stream,
24And fishing in a millpond,
25And bird-watching,
26And all the other things that would be so much better for you than the mThree Stooges.
✦ · · ✦ · · ✦
Psaying 5O / 32