THE BOOK OF
PSAYINGS
Hygiene could not be more importantIdiots never think of anybody else
Psaying 5H
eeeH is for Hygiene,
2Which couldn’t be any more important,
3Because you can’t go through life looking like a slob,
4fffWhich is why you have to shave every day,
5And get a haircut every three weeks,
6gggAnd take a bath or a shower every day, and more often than that if you’re playing sports or working in the yard,
7And always wear a clean shirt and clean underwear,
8And always wear a jacket and tie if you’re going to a party or out to dinner,
9And always wear a suit to church,
10And brush your teeth after every meal,
11hhhAnd wash your hands before every meal, and after you do your business,
12And wash your hair pretty often too,
13And always carry a clean pocket handkerchief.
14It’s also important to remember that good Hygiene includes some things you shouldn’t do,
15Because you shouldn’t chew gum in public,
16Or smoke unless the ladies give you permission,
17Or drink beverages out of the bottle, which I learned from your mother, so it must be important,
18Or forget to polish your shoes,
19aOr read about all the latest new diseases in magazines,
20Ever,
21Because you’ll start feeling all the symptoms,
22Right away.
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Psaying 5H / 32