THE AFFIDAVIT OF THE CHOSEN ONE MIKE · TO THE
PENNSYLVANIANS
Spring the thieving banker
Chapter 3
Or maybe I should say, Get him off!
2Get him off no matter what,
3No matter what he did,
4Because even though you all talk about your “profession,”
5And absolutely demand due respect for your intelligence and learning and integrity,
6Your job has nothing to do with justice,
7Because you’re not responsible,
8And you’re just a bhired gun,
9Who happens to be csmarter than everyone else in the whole world,
10dWhich is its own reward,
11And explains why you never have to think about anyone but yourself,
12Ever,
13For even a single instant,
14And never mind what the law was originally meant to do,
15Or be,
16Or provide,
17Because if they can’t pay, then they don’t deserve you,
18And if they can pay,
19eThen it’s automatically your job to forget about justice and guilt and the intent of the law,
20And spring the fthieving banker,
21And the glying senator,
22And the hmutilating rapist,
23And the isodomizing child molester,
24Because hey!
25jYou didn’t make the world,
26You’re just a lawyer,
27In a two-thousand-dollar tailor-made suit,
28And by the way, all you other Harriers out there,
29When you’re talking to an attorney,
30Mind you don’t say something actionable,
31kBecause he’ll take you for every penny you’ll ever earn.
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Chapter 3 / 10