THE AFFIDAVIT OF THE CHOSEN ONE MIKE · TO THE
PENNSYLVANIANS
Sue her husband into the weedsSpring the thieving banker
Chapter 2
eWhat can a Harrier say to a lawyer?
2Sue.
3That’s your job, isn’t it?
4When the rapacious fwitch comes whining to your office for a divorce,
5Sue her ghusband into the weeds,
6And take every dime and scrap he owns,
7Including the children,
8And even the dog,
9Because your job isn’t justice,
10It’s winning the suit and getting paid for it.
11When the hgreedy louse slips and falls on the icy sidewalk after six drinks at dinner,
12Sue the city, and the restaurant, and the company that made the concrete and the company that made his shoes, and the company that made the liquor, and anyone and everyone that was anywhere around at the time,
13aBecause there’s no such thing as a frivolous lawsuit,
14When there’s money on the line.
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Chapter 2 / 10