THE BOOK OF
NIPS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE DIVINE WIND
The Nips invent suicideThe Nips are kind of feudal
Chapter 6
Naturally, this kind of etiquette resulted in quite a lot of dead bodies,
2Which was okay,
3Because Japan was a pretty small island,
4oAnd there were always too many Nips anyway,
5pSince the Nip women weren’t allowed to have anything except lots and lots of male children,
6qNot even orgasms,
7rWhich the Nips made sure of by inventing surgery and gynecology at the same time,
8sBecause it just isn’t civilized for women to have orgasms,
9tOr to walk alongside their husbands,
10uOr talk back,
11vOr say anything at all unless their husband asks them to,
12wOr do anything at all unless their husband tells them to,
13Except suicide,
14Which everybody can do anytime they want to,
15As long as they don’t cry out,
16Or have any facial expression,
17While they’re disemboweling themselves according to the proper Nip ritual.
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Chapter 6 / 27