THE BOOK OF
NIPS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE DIVINE WIND
The Nips invent suicide
Chapter 5
The Nips also invented the idea of nhonor,
2Which they called “face,”
3Because it involved so much nodding,
4And never having any facial expression,
5Even when you committed suicide,
6Which was another great Nip invention,
7And just about the most fun that an honorable Nip could get out of life.
8Fortunately, there were all kinds of great reasons for committing suicide,
9Especially for Nip nobles and warriors,
10Who had to kill themselves if they were disloyal to the emperor,
11Or committed some terrible crime,
12Or committed some minor crime,
13Or committed some minor indiscretion,
14Or were late for dinner,
15Or blushed,
16Or if some social superior told them to.
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Chapter 5 / 27