THE BOOK OF
NIPS
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF THE DIVINE WIND
Civilization invented in Japan first
Chapter 2
eFrom the very beginning of time, the Japanese people have always been completely civilized,
2fIn fact, as civilized as the Chinese,
3gWho borrowed a lot of their culture from Japan,
4Unless it was the other way around,
5Which it wasn’t,
6hIn spite of what the Chinks say,
7Because any Nip will tell you what tremendous liars the Chinks are,
8Even if the Chinks borrowed their civilization from the Nips somewhat before the Nips had one,
9Which isn’t as impossible as you might think,
10Because everyone knows how mysterious and inscrutable Orientals are,
11Whether they’re from Japan or China or Korea or any of the other inscrutable, mysterious countries in the far east.
12Anyway,
13It was the Nips who invented civilization,
14A long long time ago,
15And they’ve been trying to get some credit for it ever since,
16Which hasn’t been easy,
17iBecause most of the world has somehow gotten the completely idiotic notion that the Nips are a bunch of smiling, nodding, two-faced little barbarians who keep trying to take things from everyone else because they’ve never had an original idea of their own,
18Which just isn’t so,
19For some reason.
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Chapter 2 / 27