THE GOOD WORD ACCORDING TO · THE ULTRA-HARRIER
NED
The one about history
Chapter 20
Every once in a long while, Harry did the one about bhistory,
2Which usually there was no need for,
3Because not many of the Great New Generation knew anything about history,
4At all,
5But from time to time there would be a wiseacre,
6Who talked about the chistorical imperative of the masses,
7Or some excrement like that,
8So that Harry had to set him straight,
9Which he did in these words, saying,
10There is only one historical imperative of the masses,
11Which is their imperative to dget it in the neck,
12From every Tom, Dick, and Harry that comes along,
13Forever,
14Which they always do,
15eBecause they are willing to believe anything,
16No matter how finane,
17And every time someone promises them something, they believe him,
18And think that this time it will be different,
19gBut it never is.
20I say to you, show me some masses,
21hAnd I will show you a bunch of losers,
22iWho have already gotten it in the neck from somebody,
23Maybe several times,
24And who have already believed in a whole bunch of inane lies,
25Not to mention a whole bunch of meaningless ideals,
26jAnd who are still on the bottom looking up,
27Without a clue.
28And I don’t care what name you give your ideals,
29You can’t save the masses with them,
30Because the masses are as changeless and pointless as the canned klaugh track of a TV sitcom,
31And we’ve already reached the last lcommercial anyway,
32Which means that the great mtragic comedy called history is about to go off the air,
33And there is no more time for new turns on old jokes like ndemocracy, oequality, and human dignity.
34In fact, there’s only time for one more twist on the oldest joke of all,
35Which has to do with ppointed sticks,
36And how they qgrew,
37While the rapes who made them grew not at all.
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Chapter 20 / 56