VICE-PRESIDENT VICKI’S GUIDELINES · FOR THE
MAWRITES
Barefoot and pregnant and all that
Chapter 25
It is a sacred btruth of the Mawrites that what has really gone wrong in the last several hundred years is the increasing dominance they have over the culture,
2cWhat with the growth of science and technology and business and other coldly analytical and emotionless things that only they are all that interested in,
3dAnd that everything could be fixed if the balance between the male principle and the female principle could be made more equal,
4Instead of steadily worse,
5Which anyone could see if they bothered to look,
6And weren’t fooled by all the totally superficial evidence to the contrary,
7Because everyone knows that in spite of what they say, they mostly believe all that garbage about the Mawrites’ place being in the kitchen,
8And barefoot and pregnant and all that,
9eEven if they have learned not to hold doors open,
10And don’t want to pay for dinner anymore,
11Or protect the Mawrites from physical dangers,
12fOr watch their language,
13gOr behave like gentlemen in business situations,
14hAnd even if they do their pronouns in the right way every once in a long while,
15And pretend to be sensitive and caring,
16And act like they’re really interested in helping to raise the children,
17And pay lip service to the fact that they should be more help around the house,
18And take cooking lessons,
19And whine a lot about how they have emotions too,
20iAnd don’t have any more false pride about not wanting to die in some horrible foreign war,
21jAnd even cry sometimes,
22Which is really disgusting in a society as dominated by the male principle as this one is.
23Because it is vital to remember that there are no contradictions.
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Chapter 25 / 33