VICE-PRESIDENT VICKI’S GUIDELINES · FOR THE
MAWRITES
More sacred truthsBarefoot and pregnant and all that
Chapter 24
It is a sacred gtruth of the Mawrites that they have screwed everything up because they are so out of touch with their emotions,
2And couldn’t find their emotions with both hands and a hflashlight,
3Because only the Mawrites are really comfortable with their feelings,
4And know what they mean,
5And how to act accordingly,
6In the most sensitive possible way,
7iWhich is why the Mawrites all get along with each other so well,
8jAnd always know exactly what they want to do with their lives,
9And are inherently more perceptive about people in general,
10With the possible exception of the ones who have been so koppressed by the macho culture that they have no self-esteem,
11lAnd wind up with abusive mates who beat them twice a day for no reason,
12Which wouldn’t happen in the first place if they could get in touch with their emotions for once,
13And not hog the show all the time,
14mWhich just highlights what a shame it is that they will never let the Mawrites have a chance to do symphonies and poetry and paintings and stuff like that,
15aBecause then there wouldn’t be any doubt at all about how much more in touch with their emotions the Mawrites are,
16So there.
17After all,
18There are no contradictions.
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Chapter 24 / 33