VICE-PRESIDENT VICKI’S GUIDELINES · FOR THE
MAWRITES
The sacred truths of the MawritesMore sacred truths
Chapter 22
eIt is a sacred truth that the Mawrites can do anything they can do,
2And probably better,
3fExcept maybe play baseball and football and other trivial games like that,
4gAnd with the possible additional exception of menial, muscle-intensive chores like digging ditches,
5hCarrying heavy objects from one place to another,
6iAnd serving in the infantry,
7Unless it turns out that some of the Mawrites desire to serve in the infantry,
8At least until there’s a real shooting war anyway,
9When the possibility of jrape and other fates worse than death might argue for some legal protection,
10kExcept for those who want to serve anyway,
11lWhether it upsets them or not.
12Anyway,
13With these few exceptions,
14The Mawrites can do anything they can do,
15Probably better,
16And just because they are responsible for about 98 percent of all the art and literature and science and philosophy and religion and architecture ever produced,
17That doesn’t mean anything at all,
18mBecause they’ve been completely in charge of everything everywhere almost from the beginning, with the exception of a few matriarchal stone age tribes in the jungle,
19Which also doesn’t mean anything,
20Because they’ve always oppressed the Mawrites,
21Which doesn’t have anything to do with who would do a better job of running things,
22Because everyone knows that the ones who are physically stronger always wind up running things in the end,
23Regardless of whether they deserve to or not,
24nBecause just look at what they have done to all the poor defenseless animals on this planet that only wanted to live in peace,
25Which is hardly what they, or the animals, deserved,
26And happened only because they were so much stronger physically,
27That is,
28Effectively stronger,
29aWhat with their macho weapons and all,
30And anyway, there are no contradictions.
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Chapter 22 / 33