VICE-PRESIDENT VICKI’S GUIDELINES · FOR THE
MAWRITES
Cast your whims in concrete
Chapter 15
When you’re not satisfied.
2dFind someone or something to blame.
3ePoint the finger of blame with certainty,
4And demand that your desires be met.
5If your fparents don’t accede to your desires,
6Blame them for raising you to be a second-class citizen.
7If your gsuitors don’t knuckle under,
8Blame them for treating you like a sex object.
9If your hemployers don’t give you what you desire,
10Blame them for maintaining a viciously sexist double standard.
11If society doesn’t conform itself precisely to your desires,
12Blame society for everything in your life that irritates you,
13And make your demands for compensation with absolute certainty,
14And never ever relent,
15Or “listen to reason,”
16Or “accept reality,”
17Or “think about the progress you’ve made,”
18Or pay attention to any of their lies,
19Because no matter what anyone says,
20iBlind unthinking hatred is the most fun you can have on earth,
21Sex included,
22And don’t you forget it.
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Chapter 15 / 33