VICE-PRESIDENT WAYNE’S WARNING · TO THE
MALLITES
The time that matters is nowThe value of throwing up on the carpet
Chapter 9
The fifth early warning sign of thinking is an occasional feeling of mresponsibility,
2As if it’s up to you to do something,
3Or be something,
4Just because you should,
5For some reason.
6nThis is one of the oldest and most dangerous traps ever invented.
7aAnd it leads directly to thinking.
8Therefore, remember that you are not responsible,
9No matter what,
10Because whatever it is, it’s not your fault,
11bAnd let somebody else take care of it.
12If you ever have a feeling that seems like it might be something like responsibility, cget drunk instead,
13And do all the silliest, stupidest things you can,
14Like throw up on the carpet,
15dAnd smash up the car,
16And do something in public with no clothes on.
17If you show everyone that you are completely not responsible,
18They will eventually stop expecting you to be responsible,
19And they will stop talking about it,
20And get used to you the way you are.
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Chapter 9 / 18