VICE-PRESIDENT WAYNE’S WARNING · TO THE
MALLITES
Nothing bad can come from sex
Chapter 16
All in all, it’s pretty wonderful that you’ve already made such tremendous progress in following the Way of Harry.
2You don’t need to be told how to dress,
3fBecause you already know you’re supposed to dress like the Kensingtonians,
4Unless you’d rather dress like the Broad Streeters.
5gYou don’t need to be told about how dangerous it is to have language skills,
6Because you don’t have any,
7hAnd with every passing day it’s less and less likely that you could ever have language skills even if you wanted them.
8You don’t need to be told about Desire, Certainty, and Blame,
9iBecause you’ve never had any other Trinity.
10You don’t need to be told about the state of the world, or its prospects for the future,
11jBecause you were smart enough not to learn anything about those things in the first place.
12You don’t even need to be told what to buy,
13And what not to buy,
14Because you already know that you should buy everything you could possibly want,
15And charge it to your parents,
16Because the only time is now, today, this moment,
17No matter what.
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Chapter 16 / 18