VICE-PRESIDENT WAYNE’S WARNING · TO THE
MALLITES
The value of throwing up on the carpetDo what the other kids do
Chapter 11
The seventh early warning sign of thinking is a sense that somehow something isn’t right with your life.
2jThis is an incredibly dangerous sign,
3And should be ignored completely.
4For example, it’s possible you could sort of get the idea that whatever you should be doing, maybe hanging around at the kmall all the time isn’t it.
5This is a wrong idea.
6If there were something else to do, you would do it,
7But there isn’t,
8So stop thinking about it.
9Or, it might be that you have a part-time job at the mall and you sort of get the idea that maybe you should try to do the job better than you do,
10And like try to lremember people’s orders without having to have everything repeated to you six times,
11And maybe try to be apolite, since they could always shop somewhere else,
12bAnd maybe stop talking with each other when a customer comes along because he wants to satisfy his desires too,
13And other things along the same lines,
14cAgain, this is a completely wrong idea.
15All the other kids in all the other shops in the mall don’t have ideas like this.
16dDo what they do.
17If you start trying to do a good job,
18All kinds of bad things can happen:
19You might start coming down with a case of manners,
20eWhich makes people think you can see things from their point of view.
21fYou might get curious about how things work and how you could do an even better job,
22Which would make everyone else mad,
23Because why should you care?
24gYou might get ambitious and want to run the shop, or start a shop of your own,
25hAnd that can lead to responsibility and all kinds of other terrible things.
26So don’t try to do a better job at the mall.
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Chapter 11 / 18