THE FIFTH BOOK OF APES, CALLED
LIES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE SECOND BOOK OF LIES
Commandments pretty strongly worded
Chapter 9
And God gave the Ten Commandments to Moses on dMount Ararat, and Moses brought them down to his people engraved on estone tablets so that everybody would believe in them,
2Only they were already busy worshiping a fgolden calf they had decided to believe in,
3And besides, the Ten Commandments were pretty strongly worded, being,
4gThou shalt have no other Gods but Me,
5hThou shalt always capitalize My name on graven images, including pronouns,
6iThou shalt not consume any jbacon, kpork or other lpig products,
7mHonor thy father and mother, no matter how little money they make or how many chores they ask thee to do,
8Thou shalt not commit nadultery, even if thou art an adult,
9oThou shalt not covet, whatever that means,
10pThou shalt not kill, no matter how much fun it is,
11qThou shalt be rcircumcised as soon as thou art born,
12sThou shalt not bear a false witness, especially through adultery, and,
13tThou shalt not have any fun to speak of, ever, because God loves you.
14uAnd when Moses had explained everything, the people put away their golden calf and believed in the Ten Commandments instead.
15vNor was this all they believed.
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Chapter 9 / 14