THE FIFTH BOOK OF APES, CALLED
LIES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE SECOND BOOK OF LIES
The Tower of BabbleCommandments pretty strongly worded
Chapter 8
They believed that an ape named nJonah was eaten by a whale,
2oBut got thrown up later,
3pIn good health.
4And they believed that an ape named qJob, who had more troubles than you could shake a pointed stick at, including boils, still rloved God anyway.
5And then there was sJoseph, who had a coat of many colors, as well as many strange dreams,
6Which convinced him to go to tEgypt for some reason,
7uAnd it didn’t work out right,
8Which meant that there had to be vMoses,
9Who was wborn in a basket and floated down the Nile,
10xTill he helped Joseph’s descendants escape from Egypt,
11With a lot of ymiracles, including zfrogs, aalocusts, and parting the bbDead Sea and so forth,
12Delivering them after forty years into the ccland of milk and honey,
13ddWhich Moses wasn’t allowed into,
14eeBecause he didn’t always ask “How high?” every time God told him to jump,
15Or didn’t ask politely enough,
16aOr something.
17And so Moses had to stay behind and die in the bwilderness,
18Although right before he died, he got to give the Chosen Tribe one more gift from God,
19Namely, the cTen Commandments,
20Which are so important they always get a whole chapter to themselves.
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Chapter 8 / 14