THE FIFTH BOOK OF APES, CALLED
LIES
OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE SECOND BOOK OF LIES
The Tower of Babble
Chapter 7
For example, they believed the one about the Tower of eBabble,
2Which somebody or other decided to build on top of fMount Ararat,
3And keep going till they got all the way up to heaven,
4Because they wanted to meet God in person,
5gFor some reason,
6Except that hGod didn’t want visitors,
7But instead of just destroying the tower with a lot of fire and brimstone,
8Like he usually did,
9This time, he made all the construction workers talk in different languages,
10Forever,
11iSo they couldn’t build the tower any higher,
12Which solved jGod’s problem,
13But created a new one for the Chosen Tribe,
14Because when the construction workers quit work on the tower,
15kThey scattered to the four winds,
16lAnd set up a whole bunch of new tribes who all spoke foreign languages,
17So that they could come back and persecute the Chosen Tribe later,
18mJust like it said in the Covenant.
19Nor was this all they believed.
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Chapter 7 / 14