The Boomer BibleA Testament for Our Times · by R. F. Laird
THE BOOK OF

KRAUTS Chapter 6

OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE BOOK OF GÖTTERDÄMMERUNG

The German language sounds beautiful
Chapter 6
The Krauts had a big advantage when it came to literature,
2Because they had the great fGerman language to work with,
3Which they had invented,
4And which sounded beautiful,
5gLike someone trying to cough up some phlegm in their throat or something,
6hUnlike the awful-sounding languages other Europeans had,
7Such as French,
8iWhich sounded like somebody had both their nostrils stuffed with jfrogs or something,
9kOr Italian, which sounded like some reeling drunk trying to sing, gargle, and spit up all at the same time,
10lOr Spanish, which sounded like somebody with a lisp and no teeth trying to talk with hot peppers in their mouth,
11mOr English, which sounded like some half-witted fop trying to talk German without coughing up the phlegm.
12Anyway,
13nThanks to their beautiful language,
14The Krauts would go on to produce a lot of great writers,
15Including Goethe,
16And a bunch of others too,
17Who would all be great,
18Though not as great as Goethe.
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Chapter 6 / 39