THE ADVICE OF THE ARCH-ANGEL MATTHEW · TO THE
KENSINGTONIANS
Keep your mouth full of gum
Chapter 11
But clothes aren’t everything.
2iAnd if you want to slide by without attracting too much of the wrong kind of attention,
3Without anybody ever really expecting anything of you,
4There are some other things you can all do.
5For example, it’s a good idea to let all your ugly little houses fall apart,
6And when the jpickup truck dies, leave it where it is,
7kWith all the cans and bottles still sitting in the back,
8And if you have some ruined furniture with springs poking out, put it out on the front porch so that everybody else can enjoy it too,
9And when you freak out on lSouthern Comfort some night and throw your best friend through the front window, don’t fix it, but tape up some cardboard and plastic instead,
10So that mKensington will stay the way it is,
11Namely, a place where nobody but Kensingtonians ever want to go,
12Because the more chances nthey have to meet you and see how you live,
13The more they will blame you,
14For everything that’s wrong in their stinking rotten lives.
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Chapter 11 / 39