THE PRESCRIPTION OF THE CHOSEN ONE MIKE · FOR THE
JEFFERSONIANS
A truly debilitating conditionThe finest stuff from down south
Chapter 8
rSpecialitas tediositas.
2This is a chronic condition that frequently befalls the aincome-oriented physician,
3Because in this bMost Chosen Nation, the best opportunities for a physician to maximize income without incurring grave financial risks usually involve specialization in high-margin, low-risk disciplines in which very high patient volumes can be achieved,
4Such as treating cteenagers for acne, which eventually clears up or it doesn’t, whether the physician gives it any thought or not,
5dOr treating extremely old or terminally ill-people in nursing homes, who are all eventually going to die anyway, so it hardly matters if the physician gives any thought to his patients or not, as long as he keeps pumping out those bills for echeckups and fmedication and more gtests,
6hOr psychiatry, which requires no thought of any kind, because psychiatric patients are usually so screwed up that nothing can help them anyway,
7iAnd besides, neurotics always think you’re doing your job as long as you always answer their questions with another question from the jlist you carry in your pocket.
8But these kinds of practices can also cause some disturbing symptoms,
9Such as a tendency to become physically ill at the prospect of seeing another case of megazits, or another ktoothless and incontinent old bag of bones, or another lbraindead housewife who can’t seem to find her place in life,
10mNot to mention a nagging temptation to think about whether this kind of practice is what life is supposed to be about, even though you have the nMercedes and the oyacht and the sizzling pmistress to prove it.
11Fortunately, though, the Way of Harry makes it easy to prescribe a cure for this qdangerous condition,
12Namely, rConsolation,
13Which comes in many many forms,
14As all physicians know,
15Including pills and powders and ampoules,
16Except that Harry offers only the finest stuff,
17sDirect from down south,
18tAt extremely competitive prices,
19Without any need to play ugames with your own medical supplies.
20Sound interesting?
21I thought so.
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